Sunday, 9 March 2008

Grounded ;-(

I know most of you parents out there will agree with me, that when we ground our darling children we are really grounding ourselves!
DD#2 went a wandering on Wednesday, was over an hour late, and instead of being apologetic and coming in quietly, she decides to come in fighting....... shouting, swearing and banging repeatedly. I never understand this, but as control is a major issue with her I had to think quickly and re-direct the situation, which let us all get to sleep eventually. She is grounded for a week and no internet till Monday at this point.
Well things were ok till Friday. My OH is not working at the moment and my parents did a mercy shop for me and were kind enough to bring it over. My Dad picked DD#2 up from dancing (she only got to go because they have a show in a couple of weeks and need to perfect the dances), and she went to speak to a friend at the bottom of the road, yeah right! That really means, ha ha, my Mum is in the house so now I have my chance to escape from the prison I live in. ******* blows raspberry and gestures with 2 fingers**** you know what I mean!
Dinner was ready, DD#3 went to tell her and surprise surprise she was not at the end of the road. Parents were not happy, and I was left bracing myself for the night ahead.
I called our helpline to advise them of what she had done and social work policy is to give them a certain amount of time and then pass it over to the police. I nipped out to the shop and there were 4 teens out side, 2 girls 2 boys. One looked over and dug the other girl in the ribs saying its your Mum....... she had changed clothes and was trying to hide her face. I calmly called her over
to say her tea was ready and I would take her up the road, but no she was with her friend and was not coming with me, asked her the same thing again and she walked away. She knows the routine and when she was told that the police would be called she ran off swearing.
Now I can deal with the swearing, even the going out when she is not supposed to, where it goes wrong for us is that she has zero victim empathy. Her workers go through her anger management, social situation work, peer pressure and whatever else they do with her, but that is their big concern too. To cut this story short, she tried to tell her worker that she had gone to another town, (red herring) and that she was not going home. Police found her, but she refused to come home unless her big sister slept elsewhere and that no-one spoke to her.....control or what!
She came in eventually, but refused to do anything the next day so we were all grounded. Hopefully today will be better.
Good news this weekend was that DD#3 took part in a local Burns Competition she is 9 and read Winter a Dirge. I was really proud of her as most of the other children only read a short verse, whereas her one was 3 long verses and she had struggled with the last one all week. Her effort paid off and she came second in her age group for verse. She got a lovely book of Burns Poems and Songs, a pen and a certificate. I had to leave after she had read, but when I went back to pick her up I was surprised to see her stand up and sing - Up In The Morning Early. It was beautiful and such a surprise. Seemingly if you win or were a previous winner you are allowed to stand up and perform again. She is already planning what she will do next year!


Marie said...

Hi Angela! I don't know why but I never knew that you had a blog until today! I so feel for you and the trials your daughter is putting you through. I can't say that I have ever experienced the same although my oldest boy (who was the product of my first marriage) had a real chip on his shoulder when he was in his teens and put me through the wringer more than once. I guess he never felt quite like he fit into the picture as my ex husband was his step dad and his four siblings were only half brothers and sisters and he had this real dad that went and married someone else, had three kids with her and wanted nothing to do with him. He had issues and what's a teen to do, but act out and not always in an appropriate way. We did get through it though and I can say that he is the one of my children that I am the closest to today. He is a wonderful man and father and husband. Take heart and just keep praying. Just do your best and trust in God for the rest. (((hugs)))

Sylvie said...

Hi Angela, I never knew you had started a blog. I'm sorry your going through such a rough time with your two eldest daughters. They say it never rains but it pours for a reason. I wish I lived a bit closer than you could pop round for a cuppa and a bit of a shoulder. ((Hugs))

Angela said...

Thanks Sylvie and Marie, I really started this as some venting space for me to just put my thoughts to paper. Will hopefully see things turnaround soon.